kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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