She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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