Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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