oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
