I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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