my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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