I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
