Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
