I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need water and some morals
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
