You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
