I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
