How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
