Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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