Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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