you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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