I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
