Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
