Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
