i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
