I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
