In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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