if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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