so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
