Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
