im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
