the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
