At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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