I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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