At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I will be naked everywhere
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
