Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
