apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
