Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
