I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
