I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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