I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
