What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
