3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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