I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
