that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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