im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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