how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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