I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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