oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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