I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
