exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
