I'm really into asian looking animals
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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