TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
