apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
