Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cannot find my penis.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
