Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
